The Fanfic of Britain
by Finary Lane
Summary: What if Merlin found the actual texts legends concerning Arthur and the knights of the round table? One-shot.


The Fanfic of Britain

by: Finary Lane

**Summary: What if Merlin found the actual texts legends concerning Arthur and the knights of the round table?**

Merlin's morning greeting had less enthusiasm than usual. Arthur was not one to complain for the fact, but his manservant refused to even meet eyes. It was irritating.

"Alright," said Arthur. "Out with it: What's the matter?"

It was too early to deal with Merlin's mood swings.

The man in questioned shuffled awkwardly, still refusing to meet Arthur's eyes.

"It's really nothing, sire. I just..."

Merlin scratched his head, hoping Arthur would let it go.

Arthur would not. If there was one thing he had learned about Merlin is that if there was something bothering him, it was best to address it as promptly as possible. He would never admit it, but Merlin's instincts and information were usually accurate. If something bad was about to happen, Merlin would somehow know something about it. It was like having the most efficient spy, without having to actually send the spy anywhere.

If Merlin was looking uncomfortable, it might be an early sign of the impending doom of his kingdom. It was strange, but it was true. He raised an expectant eyebrow at his servant.

"I visited the castle library last night," Merlin finally answered. "Geoffrey was in- he's always there- writing away at his usual scripts. I got curious so I took a look at some of his works while he was distracted."

Merlin paused as if unsure how to continue.

"The content was… interesting," he said, bobbing his head in that I-am-but-a-humble-servant way of his that always ignited Arthur's curiosity.

Arthur climbed out of bed and continued his interrogation as Merlin dressed him.

"Care to tell me how so?" asked Arthur.

"It, err, it was about you, actually," rambled Merlin. "And Morgause. And Mordred. And Guinevere and Lancelot and… can we stop talking about this? I think I'm going to be sick if I think about it too long."

Arthur was about to protest, but one look at Merlin's face and he could tell that he was serious. He somehow looked greener than before, but Arthur didn't understand why. Wasn't it Geoffrey's job to keep records of historical events? It was no surprise to Arthur that Geoffrey of Monmouth would be have records.

With one look at Arthur's expression, Merlin decided to elaborate.

"Arthur, are you familiar with the term 'fanfiction'?" he asked delicately.

Arthur was not.

"It's when a writer inspires themselves from a book or real people and writes a variation on the actual facts or stories," he explained.

Realization dawned on Arthur.

"You're saying that Geoffrey is writing _fanfiction_," the word felt strange to say, "about me and the members of my court?"

Merlin looked him straight in the eye, expression carefully schooled.

"Yes."

After a moment's hesitation, Arthur leaned forward.

"You are going to tell me everything over breakfast," he declared, settling at the table in his room with the plate Merlin had brought up. "So how has Geoffrey of Monmouth reimagined Camelot?"

Merlin cautiously pulled out a chair and sat at the king's table.

"According to Geoffrey's writings, it was not Morgana who was your half-sister, it was Morgause."

Arthur motioned for him to continue, all the while stuffing his face.

"Of course, everyone noticed how you gawked at Morgause when she first came here, Arthur. Geoffrey writes that she seduced you and shared your bed."

Arthur choked on his sausage. He coughed harshly, spitting out the morsel that had lodged itself in his throat. He couldn't help the coughing fit that followed and gulped down some water to appease his throat.

"Morgause and I did what?!"

Merlin suppressed a grin at Arthur's discomfort. Seeing his reaction somehow diminished his own disgust at Geoffrey's tales.

"It gets better," said Merlin, sobering as his stomach twisted again at the numerous mental images Geoffrey had provided him with, "A child was conceived that night. His name..."

He paused dramatically. Arthur wasn't sure whether he should back away slowly or lean forward in anticipation. Geoffrey was always one of the most enigmatic men in the castle. The way his mind worked had always baffled Arthur. It was somehow exciting to see how he could imagine Camelot, even if it was so strange and disturbing. Who could Geoffrey possibly imagine being the offspring of himself and _Morgause._

"His name was Mordred."

Arthur spit out his drink. Really, this conversation was not meant to be had over breakfast. Mordred. His son. With Morgause as the mother. What kind of hare-brained idea was that? He should have someone check how often the man went to the tavern. Surely such delusions could only have been brought about by substance. One thing was for sure, however. He had had quite enough of this story. That part alone was going to haunt him for _days._

"Alright, I get the idea. I don't need to hear more," he said, rubbing his face. "Let's get to the courtyard for training with the knights."

"But Arthur!" protested Merlin. "We haven't even gotten to the part where Mordred, your illicit child with your half-sister, seduces your wife Guinevere and becomes king."

Arthur did his utmost to suppress that image from his mind.

"Merlin..."

"Shut up?"

Arthur said nothing more. The damage was already done.

Hopefully training would help obliviate these horrible thoughts. No wonder Merlin came in looking so ill. Arthur now felt the same. With a little luck, no one else would ever read Geoffrey's _fanfiction._

No such luck.

**Author's Note: Regarding historical accuracy, Geoffrey of Monmouth wrote the ****_Historia Regum Britanniae, _****one of the first texts featuring King Arthur. For humourous purposes, I have added some elements of Thomas Mallory's ****_Le Morte d'Arthur _****to it that do not belong.****In Geoffrey of Monmouth's actual work, Mordred is Arthur's nephew. It's only in ****_Le Morte d'Arthur _****that Mordred is considered his bastard son. Also, the term fanfiction did not exist yet. Humour me.**


End file.
